Last summer at a reunion, a well meaning family member kept mentioning how "sad" Emma's situation is. A couple of months ago a friend stopped by the house and while watching Emma's efforts at tummy time she lovingly said, "how sad." Then just last week, while on the phone, I was enthusiastically bragging about Emma's newest accomplishment, (rolling from tummy to back) and I listened as my good friend choked back tears and tried to sound happy for us. I know that all of these are nothing more than kind gestures of sympathy, but it is so important that we not look at her in this way.
Is Emma frustrated? .......Probably more than you or I will ever know. Does she get mad? ....... :) Yes, this kid has more feist than she knows what to do with. Is her life challenging? ..........Extremely! But, one thing that she is not, is sad. Saying that she is sad is like saying that she is pitiful or hopeless and that is simply not true. She is a fantastic little girl with more determination and spunk than you can imagine. Emma puts more effort into sitting up or holding a toy than I have put into anything, ever. She is constantly smiling and often explodes into contagious bouts of laughter. To show her only sympathy does not give her the credit she deserves.
Believe me, there have been many a therapy session when both Justin and I have tried desperately to hold back tears as we watched her tireless efforts to achieve the most basic of human behaviors. While it is okay to acknowledge her struggles, feeling sorry for her won't get her anywhere. To achieve the best possible outcome we have to look at Emma as if we expect greatness! No one wants to be pitied, so the next time you see a person with special needs instead of feeling sorry for all that they can't do, recognize what they CAN do and try to imagine the time and effort that it has taken for them to achieve those things. Emma is not a sad case, she is a CHAMPION and a SUPERSTAR!!!
2 comments:
Hey, I recognize that shirt Emma has on! Isn't it cute? And so is she...We need to visit soon. We are getting grounded after a long trip to CA and I am getting settled working again at the med center. Once we find a balance we will be in touch. Have some more goodies for you too, well, maybe? She looks bigger! Taller! What size is Emma these days? Also, you are an amazing blogger...keep it up!
Hey Beckey & Justin. How's it going? I've wanted to say what wonderful parents you both are. Being a parent isn't an easy thing, especially when it's your first child.You both passed the mark with flying colors,I am so impressed with you,you have so much love for Emma,it just amazes me.I love you all.
Dad
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